Thick Moustache: Gentlemanly Studies on Modern Leisure

My console can beat up your console!

Posted by David on June 27th, 2011

With E3 barely cold in the ground, rumors are already coming out about the next generation of consoles, and we’re not just talking about the Wii U here, we’re talking about consoles that haven’t even been announced.

Last week, gaming site T3 asked their readers in a poll, which games console they were looking forward to most. Then they wrote an article today (in an effort to grab an easy headline) that PS4 is better than the other gaming consoles. Unless their entire readership is clairvoyant, this doesn’t make any goddamned sense.

Besides, that’s not what you even asked, T3. You asked what your readers were looking forward to, not what they thought was going to be better. Those aren’t the same. Let me do a poll about which site has more moustache-related content, then write an article about the fact that our staff has way huger penises than yours. Sound fair?

But all that aside, can we just do each other a favor and stop speculating wildly? It’s moronic. We’re not even 100% sure what Wii U is supposed to be at this point, so just shut the hell up until we do. I know Sean’s looking forward to the Wii U’s revolutionary butt-controlled interface, but we haven’t even seen the specs for that yet.

And seriously, who’s coming up with this shit?

Wildly speculative images of the next generation of game consoles

Whoever you are, we need to have a serious conversation in a dark alley. My friend Mr. Lead Pipe would like to say a few words, too. You’ll like him. He’s French.


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