Posted by Sean on June 15th, 2011
Nintendo was off to a good start at E3 with their newfangled console and its promises of a glorious touch-screen gaming future. I was actually enthusiastic! But as time went on it became obvious that they spent all of the secret creativity juice on their console but forgot to save some to actually make games for it. That’s kind of an important part of a video game console, unless they’re selling it with a fellatio peripheral.
Not that Nintendo doesn’t have any games for their whimsically-named console, but they all fall into two categories:
- Franchises that have been around most of my lifetime
- Games already released on other consoles
My disposable income is precious to me. I’m not going to buy a second console to play games that I can already play on my first console. And unless it supports the WiiFellate, I probably won’t be buying Mario Party 9 or Zelda Game #27.
For one brief instant, Nintendo’s PR effort seemed to be firming up with the announcement of a new Super Smash Brothers game. Then it promptly returned to its previous spongy, flaccid state when then they told everyone that they had yet to start developing it. In fact, they told an entire auditorium of E3 attendees that they probably shouldn’t have told them about it yet.
I’m no expert, Nintendo, but if you’re going to whip it out you had better be prepared to use it.