Thick Moustache: Gentlemanly Studies on Modern Leisure

Nintendo: Knocking on Sega’s door?

Posted by David on August 1st, 2011

A stupid person with a Wii U draws a shitty picture of Link.

SlashGear is rather bluntly asking a question that’s been rattling around in my head for a few weeks now: Is Nintendo the next Sega?

We all remember the tragic demise of Sega after the much-loved (by TM, anyhow) but much-failed Dreamcast, which led Sega to head into the software-only game. While this line of thinking is extraordinarily speculative, it’s interesting to point out that Nintendo isn’t exactly in the best shape these days. The 3DS just got a price cut mere months after its release, and if you bought (or buy) before August 12th, you’ll be getting 20 free games. It’s like saying, “We noticed you don’t like our shitty system. Here, have it for cheap, and if we already suckered you in, here’s some free shit!” Not exactly inspiring confidence here, Nintendo.

Sure, Nintendo is in much¬†better shape than Sega was back in the day, but if the Wii U is a flop, then what? And really, what does the Wii U have that’s going to be hooking people like the original Wii did? It’s certainly not going to be the underwhelming touchscreen. It doesn’t support multitouch, which seems like a bit of a deal breaker, and if you like the taste of that bitter poison, I’ve got some more! Wii U will only support one touchscreen at a time, meaning that Player 2 will be left flaccidly wobbling his standard Wiimote around.

I’m not saying that Nintendo diehards aren’t going to queue up for for the system, but if the sales are anywhere near as lackluster as the 3DS, Samus, Mario and the rest are going to be joining his good buddy Sonic in the hardware old folk’s home. Still, it’s not all bad. I bet Samus still looks plenty hot in a skin-tight diaper.

[Source: SlashGear]

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