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Brett Ratner, Eddie Murphy, the Oscars, and other irrelevant nonsense

Posted by David on September 7th, 2011

If only he'd looked into the mirror and thought for mere moments.

Brett Ratner has come out and said that he approves of Eddie Murphy hosting the Oscars. You may remember Brett Ratner as the director of X-Men: The Last Stand, which sucked so hard it shamed the X-Men franchise into rebooting. Eddie Murphy, of course, is the once-amazing comedian who took so many bad roles, it’s a wonder he’s even alive let alone working. And the Oscars, naturally, is the awards show that no one but Hollywood stars with massive egos care about.

All things considered, Eddie Murphy will probably do a good job of hosting. His stand-up was amazing when he actually hit the stage. I’ll never forget his special, Delirious, but that may be more due to the red, skin-tight leather suit he wore for the performance.

Future Eddie! The Haunted Mansion!? What the shit?

A younger Eddie Murphy, catching a glimpse of the Norbit trailer.

Crap-ton of bad movies or not, I want Eddie Murphy to succeed. There’d be nothing greater than to see him back on top of his game. Remember Beverly Hills Cop? Coming to America? It’s been sad to watch him drift from children’s comedy into a bunch of shit that no one watched. Seriously, Eddie… Norbit? Meet Dave? Is there a drug addiction you’re feeding that no one knows about? Reach out for help if you need it, Eddie. No one still judges you for that transvestite thing.

But Brett Ratner? I don’t even know why he’s commenting on Eddie’s hosting at all. How is Brett Ratner, of all people, qualified to determine if someone can host an awards show? Let me answer that for you: he’s not. He’s directing a movie called Tower Heist starring Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller and he’s looking for a bit of free press. Here you go, Brett!

I was going to write something about how horrible Tower Heist is likely to be, but I don’t have to, you can go watch the trailer yourself.

This Miami Herald article, however, had one quote in it more disturbing than anything Tower Heist has to offer:

The two talented guys (Ed note: referring to Murphy and Ratner) are also working on Beverly Hills Cop 4, for 2014.

Awesome. Because what we need is a 50-year-old Axel Foley wheezing around Beverly Hills while a geriatric Judge Reinhold does his best to look as incompetent as he always did. Ratner killed X-Men to the point that they had to reboot the damn thing, maybe he’ll manage to accomplish the same for Beverly Hills Cop. I’m not usually a fan of reboots, but I’d probably give up my left nut to watch Donald Glover give Axel Foley a go.

He looks ready... are you?

I'll bet you cash right now he could whip out that famous Foley laugh in a split second.

[Source: The Miami Herald]

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