Posted by David on August 31st, 2011
For some strange reason, possibly cocaine, Captain America co-writer Christopher Markus wants to not only bring MODOK (Mental Organism Designed Only for Killing [with a really retarded name]) to the screen, but he wants to cast Peter Dinklage for the role, stating,
“I will win you over to Peter Dinklage as MODOK. If he came around the corner and you saw him floating there you would be terrified. It would be amazing,”
Before you go trying to win us over, Mr. Markus, it’d probably be a good idea to win over Peter Dinklage.
I certainly don’t think that Peter Dinklage would be bad at playing MODOK. Hell, I’d watch Peter Dinklage in nearly anything at this point, the guy’s incredible. In fact, remake The Matrix and have him star as an even more believable Neo. Do it. I swear to god, I’ll be the first in line. He’d know kung-fu. But wanting to cast him as MODOK for the Captain America sequel? It’d be insulting to a marvelous actor if it wasn’t so goddamned stupid.
Seriously, guys. Do you even know what MODOK looks like?
Fortunately for everyone on the planet Earth, not everyone is excited about his as Christopher Markus.
“I love MODOK and I think you could make a terrifying movie with MODOK but nobody seems to be on my side at the momentum(sic),”
You know what, Christopher? You’re right. You could make a terrifying movie with MODOK, but it’d be a porn parody of the film you’re planning to make. How does Captain Shlongmerica II: MO’DONG Rising sound to you? Terrible? Good, because that’s about how stupid a movie featuring MODOK sounds to everyone else.
For once, I’m actually on the side of the suits for stifling the writer’s creativity. Finally, as though we’ve warped onto some Bizarro Earth, they’re the ones preventing something terrible from being unleashed on the unsuspecting public, rather than sitting in a dark corner, wringing their hands atop stacks of ill-gotten money. Wait, are Hollywood executives finally fighting for the good of the audience?
Probably not. Those execs just heard Christopher Markus muttering crap about some giant floating head named MODOK and their bank accounts went flashing before their eyes.