Thick Moustache: Gentlemanly Studies on Modern Leisure

Dear Hollywood, Stop Zombifying my Childhood

Posted by Sean on June 2nd, 2011

I had once entertained the possibility that Hollywood had finally drained all of the nostalgia and innocent joy from my childhood. But again I am confronted by a decayed, shambling corpse of something I once loved shuffling toward me.

From whose tomb has this unholy creature burst forth? Rock’em Sock’em Robots.

They’ve avoided paying licensing fees to Mattel by calling it Real Steel instead of Rock’em Sock’em Robots: The Cinematic Experience. Call it whatever you want, this is a movie that clearly revolves around humanoid robots in a boxing ring repeatedly punching each other in the head. The original game didn’t feature Hugh Jackman or bonding with your estranged son, but that could have been a fun addition. Preferably you would bond with your son by repeatedly punching him in the head.

If robot boxing is valid territory for shameless exploitation, are any other of my childhood toys safe? Is there some unholy cabal of white guys in business suits selling Hungry Hungry Hippos as a psychological thriller? The Hippos…They Hunger. Fall 2012.

[Source: Topless Robot]

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