Thick Moustache: Gentlemanly Studies on Modern Leisure

Superman is a badass?

Posted by David on August 4th, 2011

"I'mma break your vault and glare all serious" -Superman

As far as we know, the things this movie has going for it are:

  1. The teaser image above
  2. It’s being written by David S. Goyer and Christopher Nolan
  3. It’s being produced by Christopher Nolan

The things it has going against it?

  1. Zack Synder
  2. Zack Synder
  3. Zack Synder

It’s a unique sensation when you go from, “Oh, sweet. Christopher Nolan’s definitely going to save Man of Steel.” to “Oh, shit. Zach Snyder’s going to ruin Man of Steel.” Still, if anyone can rescue a super hero franchise, it’s Nolan, but after seeing Snyder’s grotesque violation of The Watchmen, I have a hard time believing even Supes himself could save this potential train wreck.

The task is monumental, no matter who you put at the helm. The sad tragedy is that Superman, as a character, is boring. He doesn’t have the built-in conflicts that characters like Batman or Spider-Man have. The whole truth, justice, and the American Way schtick makes him more one-dimensional than these assholes:

Smell the terror of the Phantom Zone

Pray that no one cuts a fart.

Still, I’m remaining cautiously optimistic that Nolan has produced a story that will do Supes justice. The only danger I can see so far is that they’ll go too dark, but I suspect they may be able to needle that back. Now if Snyder can pour some ice water on his ridiculous slow-motion boner, we may finally get a Superman movie worth watching.

Although I can’t quite get over the fact that he looks equally suited to save a kitten or cap a guido mobster.

3 Responses to Superman is a badass?

  1. Mens of Steel also has Kevin Costner and Russel Crowe – two strikes. However, the addition of Lawrence “Event Horizon” Fishburne looks like a positive.

    • What, you didn’t like Waterworld?

      • They didn’t have particularly accurate maps in Waterworld, I could never get my bearings. I’m more a fan of his line of beautiful wall hangings of buffalos playing poker and poems about pandas and their eternal struggle against bamboo.

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