Thick Moustache: Gentlemanly Studies on Modern Leisure

Dead show walking? Let’s hope so.

Posted by David on October 7th, 2011

Rumors, if not full-on reports, have surfaced claiming that the 23rd season of The Simpsons may be its last, and I have only one response to that: Good. The shambling corpse that remains has dragged the show I used to love through the mud long enough. I’m going to come off like an old fart here, but get off of my lawn, sit down, shut up and listen.

It’s not that the newer seasons didn’t have their moments. I’m not saying that. What I am saying is that they lack the heart of the earlier seasons. The Simpsons used to be about something. Sure, there has always been a certain irreverence, but when it came down to it, you cared about what happened to this family every week, and they cared about each other. Sure, Homer strangled Bart, but it was only for a moment, and only in blinding rage. Not, for instance, like this:

Whatever happened to interesting lessons on religion, infidelity, love, or moral choices? It’s like they took one glance at The Family Guy and decided to go full retard.

No matter how completely awful The Simpsons has become, it’s still a money and ratings behemoth. Only recently was its reign drawn even slightly into question, and that seems to be due to stalled negotiations with the voice actors. Fox is apparently refusing to pay $8 million per year, per actor, saying they want to cut each actor’s salary to a “meager” $4 million. The cast is balking at this, while they beat out their frustrations on punching bags filled with $100 dollar bills.

At this point, Fox is loudly pondering canceling it not because the stars don’t deserve the money, or because the crap train The Simpsons has become has run out of steam, but because it’d be a more sound decision fiscally. If they shut down the dinosaur and let it live its bedraggled days out in syndication, it’d actually make Fox (and likely Matt Groening) a crap-ton more money for zero effort, and would allow them to shove Family Guy or some other god-awful monstrosity into the coveted 8 o’clock spot.

Let’s face it, The Simpsons has been dead for over 10 years. I don’t really care if it’s a retarded contract dispute or the Armageddon, it’s time to shoot that fucking corpse in the face and make sure to double-tap it so the goddamned thing doesn’t get up again.

[Source: The Washington Post]

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